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04-Nov-2016 18:26

We whinge that we can’t find the right man, or never get a second date, but the usual reason is we’re not looking hard enough in the first place.

Whether we’re into bears, jocks or geeks, sometimes our narrow search criteria holds us back.

You don’t really want to run into one of your old flames – or one of theirs – and it’s good to go somewhere fresh to you both, free of distractions or associations with other dates.

Forget their sexual past Yes, plenty of us have been around a bit, but don’t let it play on your mind when on a date with a new guy.

There’s nothing worse than a romantic evening followed by a great night in the hay, which leads to unanswered texts because you couldn’t admit you were only ever looking for a one-off.

As far as you’re concerned, this is Day One – only wasteland came before it.

Don’t get hung up on tops and bottoms or everything in between Yes, you know what you like, but if you’re looking for a relationship, it’s not just about what goes where and who’ll be standing on their head or whatever.

If you both feel a connection and want to have sex, go with the flow We place a lot of importance, misguidedly I feel, on not having sex on the first date.

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Whether we’re reluctant to perpetuate the stereotype that gay men are promiscuous, or tell ourselves boys who give it up on the first date are less desirable, we certainly think too much about this one.

You might not care, but consider your date’s feelings too.



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